Last Friday night, when I was at home for break, my old cat, Max, climbed up into my bed to sit with me for awhile. It was no unusual thing, but he hadn’t done it all break until then, so I sat and enjoyed a quiet, intimate moment with my cat, whom I’ve had since the 4th grade or so.

It was the next morning when he started to get sick. It was sudden, unexpected, and very very bad. We tended to him all day, wondering if perhaps it was a day bug as he has had once before in the past, and on Sunday he’s looking *slightly* better. However, it was still an unsettling goodbye for me when I went back to school, he barely responded to my hand.

Back at school and full of school worries, and it lifts me a bit when my dad calls to say he’s taken Max to the vet, and that he seems to be doing much better. I smile, I suppose it was just a bug.

Until yesterday. I got the message on my phone to call my dad “if it wasn’t too late” around midnight, but those deeper senses urged me to call anyway. Max didn’t get better afterall.

Losing a pet is always a cold, wrenching experience for me, especially when I’m trapped far from home when it happens. I wish I could have been there to comfort him, or at least to say goodbye. But maybe it was Max that was saying goodbye to me last week.

I am cold now and lonely, and the tasks of the week seem to be breaking my body down again. I suppose I am sick or pushing myself too hard, but I think I just miss my friend.

4 thoughts on “…”

  1. I can understand. I lost Fudge earlier this year. My parents didn’t tell me until after I got back from a trip to Japan. I knew he was old and in ill health, but it still hurt anyway. I wish I had been able to say goodbye to him. He was my friend since 4th grade too.

    1. maaau

      ~nuzzes the Wertle~ I’m sorry for your loss. i dread the day i lose my old cat, TC.. i’ve had her since i was ten or so. marf. Perhaps strangely, it’s more difficult for me to lose a four legged friend than a human family member. :\

  2. I sorry, honey. My kee-kat died earlier this year…’s in my Memories somewhere.
    Anyway, I can’t say that I exactly know where you are–but I’m sure it’s in the same ballpark. I’d had Clife for a little over 14 years. He did that, too–the “he’s sick”, “oh, he’s getting better”, “oh, he’s sicker”, “better?”, “it’s time”. I was in there when they put him to least you didn’t have to be there for that. It’s rough.

  3. It is very hard to lose a good, close, loving friend like a pet. I sorry. ::big hugs:: And he must have loved you very much to come to you to say a special goodbye.

    Take care of yourself. You’re already under a killer amount of stress, my dear.

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